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I’ll have a (Black and) Blue Christmas…

December 26, 2007

Okay, so I got a Lands End raincoat for Christmas, Dawn got a pretty royal blue blouse and some nice PJs, and Ian got a bunch of cool stuff {much of which I wish existed when I was his age}. What did Adam get for Christmas?

Among other things, stitches.

Well, it was technically that dermal glue stuff, but it’s the same thing, just different: he had to have a wound closed. On Christmas Day.  Merry freakin’ Christmas.

See, on our mantel rest four stocking hangers, each of which holds –you guessed it– a stocking. They’re these polished-brass finish metal suckers with unreasonably sharp corners (“sharp corners”: can you guess what happens next?), roughly about 4 inches square, that are in the shape of letters. I guess they’re supposed to spell out “L-O-N-E” or “L-E-N-O” or something. Maybe it’s “O-N-E L“… as in “a one L lama, he’s a priest…”. I know, doesn’t make much sense to me either.

Anyhooz, we’ve had these things up since Thanksgiving weekend, with the stockings dangling from them, and they have been undisturbed for a month.  Yesterday morning, 8:05, we come down to do the presents thing, and we start with the stockings.  Ian grabs his off the hanger, and turns to grab his brother’s to hand it to him, when Adam yanks on one of the others and pulls, bringing this approximately 30-lb letter N stocking hanger down on top of himself, putting a nice hole into the edge of his right eyebrow (thankfully it wasn’t about a half inch to the left…), also making three small cuts by his lip in the process.

Naturally, he’s screaming.  Dawn picks him up and takes him to the bathroom, and I hear the good ol’ “aw, shit”.  So I says “don’t tell me- it needs stitches”, to which the reply “yup, I think so” comes.  Now it wasn’t a huge wound, but it was one of those borderline things where if you leave it alone it’ll never fully heal and will get infected and wind up twice as bad as if we just take him to the doctor.  So we put some off-brand antibiotic ointment on a Curious George off-brand adhesive bandage and stuck it to his head.  We proceeded to go ahead and open the presents, and then Dawn makes the trip to Prompt Care.  Two and a half hours later, they return with the aforementioned dermal glue on his eyebrow.

My kids are clumsy.  They come by it extremely naturally.  I fall down the stairs probably at least once a month.  Hell, I can fall going up stairs.  A week before my birthday two years ago, I impaled my skull on the bracket of the ladder going up to the attic (long story; don’t ask).  Head wounds really bleed.  A lot.  Ian’s had two sets of stitches and some dermal glue in his seven-plus years; Adam’s had one set of stitches and now dermal glue in his close to three years.  But hey- I’ve still had more total stitches than both kids together, so I’ve still got THAT going for me.  Which is nice.  Hey, you take your “victories” where you can find them.

Anyway, Adam seems to be none the worse for wear, and he and his brother are back to fighting with each other over who gets to play with the other one’s toys the most (or least, depending on the perspective involved), so things seem to be more or less back to normal, I guess.  Now comes the daunting task of cleaning up the Christmas mess so I can restore the house to its original pre-Christmas mess.

We went to Dawn’s folks’ house yesterday afternoon for Christmas with her family which, comparably, was gloriously uneventful.  Christmas with my side o’ the family comes tomorrow afternoon.  My brother and his wife and kids are our gracious hosts for the festivities; hopefully we can arrive back home tomorrow evening with no new injuries, given or received.  THAT would be suh-weeeeet!

Hope everyone had a terrific holiday.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. SpringfieldZebra permalink
    December 26, 2007 5:50 pm

    Hey, is it my imagination, or is it snowing on your blog site?

  2. Johann permalink
    December 27, 2007 9:24 am

    Um, yeah, it actually is. Not that one could tell, with an all freakin’ white background, but yeah, every once in a while you can catch a glimpse of it. Plus, I think it temporarily collects at the very bottom of the screen and then “melts”.

    Just a silly little presentation “extra” that WordPress offers. It will automatically turn off Jan. 2 anyway, but if it’s too distracting, I’ll turn it off. Just say da woid.

  3. SpringfieldZebra permalink
    December 27, 2007 9:06 pm

    It doesn’t bother me a bit. I originally thought there was something wrong with my monitor.

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